Me: “Okay Pa so do you know what I’m asking you to do? Did you understand?”

Dad: “Of course! Yes.”

Me: “Okay first question. Why do you speak English?”

Dad: “Look at it this way, it’s a way for a person like us…. To learn the language of the country where you live at gives you more opportunities. I had more opportunities to communicate at work with people and learn easier. If you speak English, you get more money and have higher value.”

Me: “What did you work as in Mexico?

Dad: “When I was young I used to help build houses. I was a helper. I cultivated corn, beans pumpkins, peanuts, sesame seeds, jamaica leaves using my own seeds on land that I rented. Rented? There’s a better word for it.”

*goes on a tangent about what jamaica leaves are called in English which my mom says is hibiscus flower*

Me: “What did you do here in America?

Dad: “I do a whole bunch of things. When I first got here I was a dishwasher. Then I was a stockboy at a Korean deli. You know, I put things on shelves. Then when I started learning English I became a busboy. As I learned I became a food runner and then a barback.

*goes on a tangent about what a barback does and how they help the bartender*

Then I became a waiter. Oh, put that I was a pizza man too somewhere between.

Me: ”Ok what do you do now?”

Dad: “I’m a food prepper.”

Me: “How about music? Did the music you listen to change at all?”

Dad: “Nope.”

Me: “It’s stayed the same since you were a kid right?

Dad: ”Yes.”

Me: “Ok, how about religion?”

Dad: “I’m a catholic. Hasn’t changed.”

Me: “Do you think you have the same faith now as you did then?

Dad: “Eh.”

Me: “What about food? You used to eat more culturally right?”

Dad; “Yes. Now you guys are spoiled. You eat from so many cultures, vietnamese, columbian, chinese….

*goes on to list as many cultures as he knew.”

I cook a lot of whatever. I am versatile when I cook.”

Me: “What was it like coming here?”

Dad: “I was 17 years old when I came here. I stayed until I was 24.”

Me: “And then you went back right?”

Dad: “I returned and I met your mom. I married her and then I came back with her when she was pregnant. Here she became your mom.”

Me: “Okay something boring. Did you ever wear any cultural clothing?”

Dad: “No. Nothing.”

Me: “Not even something like a sombrero?”

Dad: “Nope.”

At this point my Mom walks in, from here our conversation is in spanglish/spanish. I translated it with a lot of artistic liberty.

Me: “Mom how come you don’t speak english?”

Mom: “But why!? It’s not necessary.”

Me: “Oh wow.”

Dad: “She never had a need to. She doesn’t work. She doesn’t socialize with people who speak english. At home we speak Spanish to her. She doesn’t need English. Obviously she’s learning more now because we speak English around her. She knows more than what she used to. She didn’t need English like I did.”

Me: “True. Okay Mom why did you stop making the ofrenda?”

Mom: “Because I don’t know if I was making it right. There’s a way to make it and I don’t want to do it if it isn’t proper. Also there’s no space. You need a table or a corner to do it right.”

Me: “Did you make one when we were younger? I only remember a few times you made one.”

Mom: “No. I only started making them when your uncle passed away. It was only for two years that I made them. They took up space we don’t have so I stopped.”

Me: “Did you make them in Mexico?”

Mom: “No. My mom made them. She knows how to make them right.”

Me: “Ohh. Pa, what about culture? What is expected of you guys in Mexico?”

Dad: “Well, the Mexican mentality of the husband is to….”

Me: “Provide?”

Dad: “Yes! Provide. To provide everything for the home. For the family. The mom is in charge of the house, she is the one raising the baby, breastfeeding. It’s natural.”

Me: “Mom was raised to be a mother right? I mean she got married at 17 and flew to the US and became a mother.”

Dad: “Not really. It’s just expected to happen. It’s part of the culture. There aren’t a lot of career options. In Mexico she didn’t work, she stayed in the house with her parents.”

Me: “Okay well I think that’s all I need for now. If I need anything else I’ll ask you later. Thank you Pa.”